I have always been a perfectionist. All my life I have tried hard to be perfect in all areas: a perfect professional, spouse, mother, daughter, sister, etc. It was so difficult and all the time this was leaving me with a sense of Not Being Good Enough; not achieving enough and as result not being able to celebrate my achievements in life. Have you ever been there?
It took me time to understand that perfectionism doesn’t exist. That it is simply a form of saying ” I am not good enough!
I am not saying that we should not dream big; put ambitious objectives and trying to achieve the best we can do. I am saying that perfectionism does not exist! And furthermore, it is not healthy. You know why? As all the time you compare with others and everything around you!!! And in fact, this is not accurate and relevant. Each and every one of us is unique and has deep inner dreams in life. When you compare with others you just lose the purpose of being here on planet earth. You lose connections with your deepest innermost values. You are out of alignment with self and fall into confusion, feel demotivated and lack direction in life.
You need to learn a different way of being the best version of self and the keyword is awareness:
But when you try to become a perfectionist you do a double mistake:
First: you try to be perfect that lowers your self-confidence.
Second: you practice thoughts and behavior that perfect your bad habits.
And what are these thoughts or ways of thinking that perfect but in the wrong direction? What do you practice most? Where do you spend the energy on? What are you perfected?
As a true fact, as human being we practice most:
Negativity; doubt; anger; frustration; annoyance; guilt; envy and jealousy; failure; rejection; boredom; blame; shame; self-abuse; skepticism; self-criticism e so more to list. Take some time and reflect what you are practicing the most.
We have become the masters of perfection, BUT IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!