People are always thinking about themselves, not about what you did


We always think that people are thinking, talking and laughing behind our backs when we think of our mistakes or when something goes wrong in our lives. In fact, this is not true most of the times!

Observe your thoughts for the moment and recall the type of thoughts you had today… you were thinking about your life, your problems or the person you love, right?

That’s what everyone is doing! We are all thinking of our own problems, our insecurities, our loved people.

Our brains work in the same way although we have unique thoughts.

But, sometimes thinking of the mistakes we made, the times we thought people were laughing at us, is toxic and damaging to our lives because such thinking translates into self destructive behavior.
How can we eliminate this way of thinking?

If you find yourself thinking that someone is judging or laughing at you for something that you did, you can use these two techniques to stop such thoughts.

  • Interrupt your thinking process

Every time you become conscious that the thought you are thinking or what you are saying is judgmental to you or someone else, interrupt your thinking process. You can do this by asking yourself a simple question: Was that behavior really that bad?

Or, when you are judging yourself or someone else, think of the reasons and causes that made you or the other person behave in a certain way.


  • Replacement

When judging or criticizing someone else, stop for a moment and compare yourself to that person in different aspects. Find the good qualities in that person and the reasons why you are judging her/him. Such technique will help you see the other side of the medal and become more empathic.  

You have to know that when judging others you are using the same judging model that you use for yourself, a model that most of the times we don’t even know it exists.

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