What is happiness?
by Anila Bashllari
We often ask ourselves this question and can’t seem to find a definite answer. Even when we find an answer, it is temporary or partial. How many times you may have questioned yourselves about what happiness really is and refer to moments when you have bought something, when you have achieved a goal or when you have really felt happy. In other words, you are saying that everything outside of you has made you happy! This is the way most people think of happiness. We always wait for something to happen or to buy something in order to feel happy.
This is a wrong way of thinking about what happiness is and what really makes us happy. It makes us powerless because we are always slaves of our life events.
If I would say that you have to reverse your thinking and consider happiness as an inside job with yourself, what would you think?
Happiness is inside of us and we can generate happy feelings no matter what we consider happiness. Happiness is a mental state that we can create whenever and wherever, no matter the outside world.
In order to prove what I am saying, I suggest you close your eyes for a few minutes and take deep breaths, several times – inhale and exhale. Focus on your body and feel the breathing process. Think for a moment that you are very lucky and that you are currently breathing. Relax your mind and body… now I would like you to get back in time and think of one of your happiest moments.
For someone such moment can be the finish of the university, for someone the arrival of a new baby in their life, an unforgettable trip, getting the job of your dreams, buying the house of your dreams, et cetera. Think about what made you happy in those moments. Try to bring back the same sensation. Try to remember the feelings you experienced, the emotions, the adrenaline, the way you talked and what you said. Stay for some moments in that state. I am smiling at this moment because the thought of happiness makes me smile.
Let this sensation widen beyond your heart and body. Give it the shape of your room, house, city or the country where you live. Maybe you can fill the whole universe with your happy feelings… give it life and colors… and breathe normally by allowing the sensation to enter every cell of your body.
Let your body stay in silence and when you feel ready try to relax and feel your body, the chair where you are sitting… and slowly open your eyes. Wasn’t that a great sensation that you would like to feel over and over again? The good news is that you can repeat this meditation exercise how many times you want, giving your soul the food it needs.
Happiness is not a destination… where you can go and just be happy. These are our lies that we believe all the time and without putting them to question. Happiness is a state, a feeling that gets created by focusing on what we want to feel and not the outer circumstances, people or events. Obviously, the later add another dimension to our happiness and make it perceivable but don’t forget that at any moment we are the creators of our happiness.
Isn’t this wonderful? Doesn’t this make us stronger? Wouldn’t it be great if we could start teaching this to our children?
I believe that everyone would say “yes” but they wouldn’t know where to start.
There are several techniques that can get us closer to happiness:
- Forgiving ourselves
- Harmony of our dimensions: body – mind – spirit
- Observing our thoughts and emotions
- Freedom from judging ourselves, others and everything around us
- Creating your own life by the choices and to not consider yourself as a victim of circumstances
- Harmony between YOU and your EGO, by making a transition from “I” to “Us”
- Train yourself to see the glass half full. Abundant thinking gives you positive feelings
- Happiness is – loving unconditionally. Love means adoring not possessing something or someone
- Smile and laughter help our physiology and psychology to relax and think efficiently
- Happiness means being at peace with yourself and others
- Happiness is achieved when you live purposefully, when you have discovered your purpose in life and you work consciously to achieve your goals so that you can inherit to those that come after you
I would add many more ways that we can think of and that will makes us happy but I like the number 12 because it is my birthday number and contains other personal symbolic.
I wish you achieve HAPPINESS by first deciding that you want to feel happy. If I can do that, you can too.